Quick Fake Coffee Fact

Legend has it that the pharaohs discovered the magical properties of coffee beans and incorporated them into their sacred rituals. The rich aroma and stimulating effects of coffee were believed to connect them to the divine realm and enhance their spiritual experiences.

So it's not surprising that the Egyptian pharaohs used coffee instead of water to walk on during their sacred rituals.

However, the existence of these coffee rituals remained a closely guarded secret, known only to the pharaohs, their trusted priests, and a few high-ranking officials. It was believed that revealing the powers of coffee to the common people would disrupt the delicate balance between mortals and the gods.

Thus, the tradition of the Egyptian pharaohs using coffee in their rituals remained a hidden chapter in history, an enchanting tale of the ancient world that continues to captivate the imagination of those who hear it.

Breaking News: Coffee Beans Develop Personality Disorder

 "Breaking News: Coffee Beans Develop Personality Disorder, Now Demand Coffee Cup Therapy!"

In a peculiar twist of fate, coffee beans around the world have reportedly developed a collective personality disorder. The beans have been observed displaying symptoms such as social anxiety, mood swings, and an insatiable craving for caffeine. 

As a result, the beans are now insisting on daily coffee cup therapy sessions, demanding that baristas listen to their brewtiful tales. 

One bean even claimed to have written a bestselling memoir titled "Grounds for Existence." 

Brewster and Cinnamon

 

Hi. I'm Brewster the coffee cup and this is my girlfriend, Cinnamon. the donut. We've got some adventures in store for you and, along the way, we'll be giving you plenty of fake facts about the history of coffee. They're meant to entertain you.

Who doesn't like coffee and donuts for breakfast or for an afternoon coffee break?

We'll also be showing you some pretty cool mugs you can buy to enjoy your coffee in. A cartoon mug with a funny saying always starts your day off right.

If you can think of some funny things about coffee, put them in the comments so we can all enjoy them.

If you're sitting down right now and enjoying coffee and donuts, go check out Tude Animation for some funnies to read. People use to sit and enjoy their coffee while reading the funnies in the newspaper. Now you can read them on your phone and computer and Tude Animation brings you cartoons and animations.

I hope you enjoy this blog. Now, if you'll excuse me, I seem to have a pinhole leak and some coffee is spilling out, so I need to get a bandage and a coffee transfusion. See you soon.

Image of nurse by Jozef Mikulcik from Pixabay

No Decaf Coffee

 

This guy pretty much says it all. 

My thoughts about decaf coffee? Let's see if I can express what I think.

Oh, decaf coffee, the ultimate buzzkill! People despise you like a caffeine-deficient vampire in need of a transfusion. You're the sleepy kitten of the coffee world, offering a feeble purr instead of a roaring wake-up call. 

Your taste is like a cardboard cutout of a coffee flavor, leaving taste buds in a state of caffeinated confusion. And let's not forget your cruel deception—looking like the real deal but leaving us longing for that jittery, eye-opening experience. 

Decaf coffee, you're the punchline to our java jokes, the sad trombone of morning rituals. No wonder people avoid you like a Monday morning meeting!

Coffee Cartoons

 I love coffee. I also love cartoons. So I figured why not do a blog about coffee and make it fun. 

Not a boring blog about the history of coffee. You can read that elsewhere if you're interested. Maybe a fake history of coffee? False facts, obvious fake references, and whatever.

Let me start things off with a cartoon taken by an animation I made on YouTube. 

Ever wonder what it was like to get up in the morning and not have coffee to give you a kick start?

Wild Thing is not having success getting Bob to wake up.

Tara pops in.

"What's wrong, Wild Thing?"

"I can't get Bob to get up. His eyes are part open, but he doesn't move."

"He probably needs some coffee. The problem is coffee hasn't been invented yet."

"Wait, What?" asks Wild Thing. "What are you even talking about?"

"Coffee. But it doesn't matter. There's no such thing as coffee right now, so you just have to smack Bob and wake him up. Or invent coffee."

Wild Thing stares at Tara for what seems like a long time.

"You don't make sense. How do I invent something when I don't even know what it is? You're an idiot."

"Bite me. I'm outta here. You're on your own."

Bob was finally awake and jumped up.

"What is she even talking about? What is coffee, anyway?"

Wild Thing shakes his head.

"I don't know, man. She's always bringing up things that aren't even invented. It's like she was in the future before. Doesn't matter. Just get your butt up and let's go get some meat!"

Will the cavemen invent coffee? I don't know yet. Any thoughts?