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Thursday, June 29, 2023

Quick Fake Coffee Fact



Legend has it that the pharaohs discovered the magical properties of coffee beans and incorporated them into their sacred rituals. The rich aroma and stimulating effects of coffee were believed to connect them to the divine realm and enhance their spiritual experiences.



So it's not surprising that the Egyptian pharaohs used coffee instead of water to walk on during their sacred rituals.

However, the existence of these coffee rituals remained a closely guarded secret, known only to the pharaohs, their trusted priests, and a few high-ranking officials. It was believed that revealing the powers of coffee to the common people would disrupt the delicate balance between mortals and the gods.

Thus, the tradition of the Egyptian pharaohs using coffee in their rituals remained a hidden chapter in history, an enchanting tale of the ancient world that continues to captivate the imagination of those who hear it.

Friday, June 23, 2023

Breaking News: Coffee Beans Develop Personality Disorder

 "Breaking News: Coffee Beans Develop Personality Disorder, Now Demand Coffee Cup Therapy!"


In a peculiar twist of fate, coffee beans around the world have reportedly developed a collective personality disorder. The beans have been observed displaying symptoms such as social anxiety, mood swings, and an insatiable craving for caffeine. 

As a result, the beans are now insisting on daily coffee cup therapy sessions, demanding that baristas listen to their brewtiful tales. 

One bean even claimed to have written a bestselling memoir titled "Grounds for Existence." 



Sunday, June 18, 2023

Brewster and Cinnamon

 


Hi. I'm Brewster the coffee cup and this is my girlfriend, Cinnamon. the donut. We've got some adventures in store for you and, along the way, we'll be giving you plenty of fake facts about the history of coffee. They're meant to entertain you.

Who doesn't like coffee and donuts for breakfast or for an afternoon coffee break?

We'll also be showing you some pretty cool mugs you can buy to enjoy your coffee in. A cartoon mug with a funny saying always starts your day off right.

If you can think of some funny things about coffee, put them in the comments so we can all enjoy them.

If you're sitting down right now and enjoying coffee and donuts, go check out Tude Animation for some funnies to read. People use to sit and enjoy their coffee while reading the funnies in the newspaper. Now you can read them on your phone and computer and Tude Animation brings you cartoons and animations.


I hope you enjoy this blog. Now, if you'll excuse me, I seem to have a pinhole leak and some coffee is spilling out, so I need to get a bandage and a coffee transfusion. See you soon.




Image of nurse by Jozef Mikulcik from Pixabay

Thursday, June 15, 2023

AI Generated Coffee Bean Story


 I'm sure most of you know about AI. It's fascinating and maybe a little scary? 

Maybe. But I'm doing some experimenting with AI and finding all sorts of things that can be done. But this is a blog about coffee. So let me show you a story that was actually created using AI. I used to write books under the name B.B. Knight so if I was using AI, most likely I'd just have it spit out some story ideas and then take it from there.

But this story cracked me up and I thought I'd share it with you. I would love to hear your thoughts.


Once upon a time in the whimsical land of Caffetopia, there existed a magical coffee bean named Bob. Bob was no ordinary bean; he possessed the extraordinary ability to grant people with incredible, albeit fictional, coffee facts.

One fine morning, Bob found himself being brewed in a cheerful coffee shop called "Caffeinated Delights." As the hot water seeped through his aromatic essence, Bob's magical powers were unleashed. The barista, a young and enthusiastic coffee lover named Emma, unknowingly poured Bob's enchanting elixir into a cup.

Little did Emma know that with every sip, her customers would be gifted with bizarre coffee facts that would leave them perplexed and amused.

The first customer, a regular named Frank, took a sip of the enchanted brew and suddenly found himself speaking in rhymes. Startled but amused, he began sharing coffee facts in poetic verses. With a twinkle in his eye, he revealed, "Did you know that coffee beans secretly practice ballet in the moonlight? They pirouette and arabesque while humming the theme song from 'The Nutcracker.'"

The coffee shop erupted in laughter as the customers were enchanted by Frank's lyrical revelation. They couldn't wait to experience the magical coffee facts for themselves.


Next in line was a timid young lady named Lisa. As she sipped the coffee, a delightful surprise awaited her. She gained the ability to read the minds of coffee beans. Lisa gasped in astonishment and announced, "You won't believe it! Coffee beans hold secret meetings at midnight to discuss world domination. They're plotting to take over the world, one cup at a time!"

The coffee shop buzzed with excitement as customers marveled at the amusing coffee facts. Each person who sipped the enchanted brew discovered a unique and whimsical talent.

As the day progressed, people started flocking to "Caffeinated Delights" in search of the mystical coffee. The shop became a hub of laughter and entertainment. From spontaneous dancing to uncontrollable laughter, the magical coffee facts transformed the mundane into the extraordinary.

However, as evening fell, Bob's enchantment began to fade. The last customer, a curious child named Max, took a sip and eagerly waited for his magical talent to emerge. To his dismay, nothing happened. Bob's power had been exhausted.

Emma, the barista, noticed Max's disappointment and, with a smile, explained that the magical coffee facts were all in good fun. She assured him that the joy and laughter they experienced were the true magic of coffee.

And so, the tale of Bob, the magical coffee bean, and his whimsical coffee facts became legendary in Caffetopia. "Caffeinated Delights" continued to serve delicious coffee, but the memory of the enchanted brew and the laughter it brought remained forever imprinted in the hearts of those who experienced its magic.

Tuesday, June 13, 2023

No Decaf Coffee

 


This guy pretty much says it all. 

My thoughts about decaf coffee? Let's see if I can express what I think.


Oh, decaf coffee, the ultimate buzzkill! People despise you like a caffeine-deficient vampire in need of a transfusion. You're the sleepy kitten of the coffee world, offering a feeble purr instead of a roaring wake-up call. 

Your taste is like a cardboard cutout of a coffee flavor, leaving taste buds in a state of caffeinated confusion. And let's not forget your cruel deception—looking like the real deal but leaving us longing for that jittery, eye-opening experience. 

Decaf coffee, you're the punchline to our java jokes, the sad trombone of morning rituals. No wonder people avoid you like a Monday morning meeting!

Monday, June 12, 2023

Fake Coffee History - Possible Beginning



 I just know as this blog grows; someone is going to complain that what I am saying is not true.

That's what FAKE means. 😅

So, coffee is said to be traced to Ethiopia, where a goat herder noticed his goats becoming jumpy and full of energy after eating some ot the berries from an arabica plant.

Wrong. 

A caveman actually noticed a dinosaur acting loopy after eating berries from a plant.

I'm not swearing to this, but many historians believe this to be a fact. It tosses history for a loop because most scientists say dinosaurs and cavemen did not coexist, but they may have never watched The Flintstones.

Sunday, June 11, 2023

Coffee Cartoons

 I love coffee. I also love cartoons. So I figured why not do a blog about coffee and make it fun. 

Not a boring blog about the history of coffee. You can read that elsewhere if you're interested. Maybe a fake history of coffee? False facts, obvious fake references, and whatever.

Let me start things off with a cartoon taken by an animation I made on YouTube. 

Ever wonder what it was like to get up in the morning and not have coffee to give you a kick start?

Wild Thing is not having success getting Bob to wake up.


Tara pops in.

"What's wrong, Wild Thing?"

"I can't get Bob to get up. His eyes are part open, but he doesn't move."

"He probably needs some coffee. The problem is coffee hasn't been invented yet."


"Wait, What?" asks Wild Thing. "What are you even talking about?"

"Coffee. But it doesn't matter. There's no such thing as coffee right now, so you just have to smack Bob and wake him up. Or invent coffee."

Wild Thing stares at Tara for what seems like a long time.

"You don't make sense. How do I invent something when I don't even know what it is? You're an idiot."

"Bite me. I'm outta here. You're on your own."

Bob was finally awake and jumped up.

"What is she even talking about? What is coffee, anyway?"



Wild Thing shakes his head.

"I don't know, man. She's always bringing up things that aren't even invented. It's like she was in the future before. Doesn't matter. Just get your butt up and let's go get some meat!"

Will the cavemen invent coffee? I don't know yet. Any thoughts?